24/08/25 - work among other things

i'll probably start with talking about yesterday since i didn't manage to write a post about it even though it was probably one of the more eventful days of my unfortunately dull summer, i went out with my boyfriend's family to a historical town and then the beach nearby! i was really surprised actually bc i thought it was just gonna be a random town but it was super pretty, rich in history and i got some good photos out of it !! my boyrfriend didn't tell me anything about us going to the beach but the temperature was great and i think that it was super fun to just hang out with his family a it more :)

now today. i didn't even sleep that much last night and i woke up in such a miserable mood heading into work, i was early/ on time for once so im surprised but as soon as work started i got handed to such an annoying first customer... the kid was just so picky and i kept running back and forth with their shit constantly and they literally killed my spirit so much that after i finished up with that family i just told my manager that i needed 5 mins and teared up instantly. uhh warning i cry so easily and i hope i didnt look like an utter baffoon

anyways, tomorrow im off work again and i get to hang out with my bfs family again yippee! going to another beach this time and i wont wear the baggy jeans TT or at least ill bring a change of clothes for when we get there LOL

for the rest of the night i think i want to try reformatting my myanimelist since the actual anime list part uses css (i used a template last time) and i think i'm good enough maybe i dont know,,, the actualy profile probably will have to wait a bit since i just need to look at some bbcode but hopefully i can get that done too.

anyways, lets hope for better tomorrows !!

22/08/25 - 8ams and hnnggggghhhh

i did infact go to work on time, i barely made it in time tbf. I keep rocking up to the store maybe 3 mins before my shift starts lol, not on purpose but i just end up getting there and walking into the shop as morning briefings are happening, which i dont think is very good.

i also kept getting micro-managed today, like yes girl I gave the woman two bags so yes, I charged her for both bags liek TT i know i'm a bit dense sometimes and but we are the same age, i think i have enough common sense even if im just a temporary summer worker... plus the paper bags are so spenny what the freak... i also didnt manage to sell any of the extra items too and i think they were very disappointed with that but honestly yeah, i just forget and also i lose all confidence when they reject it and i just dont want to pursue it further.

ig im a pushover :sob:

other than going to work, i got my bf anniversary presents for our one year YIPPEE i love him so much... on the off chance that he reads this, i wont spoil the surprise but i really hope he loves it and smiles when he sees it bc i really love it a lot and i love him.......................... gah...

i think the issue with me and giving presents tho is the fact that for some reason i always think bigger is better but i think ive made peace with the fact that the value and sentiment is more important than the quantity and size of the gift, so i think what i got for him is super good... i probably do want to get a few extra stuff but i think what i got is pretty good and yeah im SUPER happy with what i chose to get >_<

finally, I wanted to talk about this website! i've become more confident in my css styling, im mostly just looking at html sections now (this entire blog page was me struggling to find out how to use details, buttons and implementing javascript into my code using tabs, which was honestly pretty hard for me since i know nothing about js, so it was literally me copying w3schools code :sob:). i finally formatted the blog section too yippee! i think i might add some pngs and stuff to make the page more interesting but for now i dont really mind and i think it looks good, as of right now, whilst im typing this, all i have to really as is the button to go home, but after that, I'd say its pretty complete!

anyways, lets hope for better tomorrows!

21/08/25 - augh work and rest

i got up pretty late again icl, i usually get up late but gosh... i set an alarm for 11am and still managed to stay on my phone in bed til 12:30 LOLLLL... I also honestly wouldn't have gotten up if i didn't have work, which gah is so draining.

sometimes i feel completely useless at work, like im not actually doing my job properly and i always want someone to hand-hold me throughout the entire thing, which, yes, I know is bad but I honestly lose all of my confidence when I get out onto the shop floor. I think i'm made for something else whcih isn't like clothing retail or anything horribly customer interacty ig idk :sob: (yes I'm gonna use discord emote codes).

i was actually gonna start formatting the blog section and everything but I got so burnt out and couldn't be asked LOOLLLL I also have work tomorrow morning too so that doesnt help D: HOW DARE THEY MAKE ME WAKE UP BEFORE 9AM!!!! but yeah, I just wanted to chill and get at least one post out idk >_< I also wanted to space out my coding honestly because I know that if I kept doing it every night for a few hours at a time I definitely think I'd be uninspired and take longer than I usually do, which is pretty crazy since I already take a while to code already...

my primary coding experience is in python, C, C++ or C# and also R but for university work. I'm pretty slow at picking up different coding languages too so it really takes me a while to get used to, definitely a lot of tabs open all the time, but sometimes I just get a bit embarassed or self-conscious, because im reading back on my updates section and thinking to myself, "yeah i havent done all that much today" but every time I do sit down to code its for maybe 4-5 hours at a time... a little embarassing if you ask me !

anyways, lets hope for better tomorrows!